The cleverest people we know in Energia know the importance of building strong and healthy relationships. We know all the talk of love across the month of February can really shine a light on how your relationship is doing. We spoke to Irish relationship expert Allison Keating
, you may have seen recently on the RTE show Then Comes Marriage
Allison’s advice on building love within a relationship is to ‘sprinkle it in’. Language matters and, “If we take the metaphor of a saltshaker minus the salt we build our relationships by filling it with 'yes'. 'Yes, that is a good idea'…'yes, that's a really interesting way of saying that, I hadn't thought of it like that'. By allowing our partner influence us, it has a profound impact on the quality of relationship”.
Be interested in each other
This might seem difficult when you have known each other a long time and feel there is very little else to discover, but curiosity matters
in healthy relationships. It could be questions about family, friends or work or about what you would like to achieve in the future. Dreams or ambitions or places you would like to see in the world? Ask your partner what they were like as a child? What their hopes were and how life has worked out in comparison. If you can’t think of things here
are some great prompts.
Complement each other
Negativity can have a terrible impact on your relationship. It can lead to poor self-esteem and a feeling of disconnection but in our busy world, it’s an easy habit to get into. Irish relationship expert and psychologist, Allison Keating says the ratio for positive communication to negative is 5:1
so you have to say 5 nice things to rectify one negative thing. Worth remembering when you are speaking to your other half!
Talk about something you enjoyed together
Could be your first date, a weekend away, watching a film or tv series you both love…reminding yourselves of the moments that mattered is will help you build a healthy relationship and leave you feeling more connected and warm inside.
Make tea for your partner
Or breakfast in bed or their favourite dinner or some other small act of kindness that matters to them. Research in the US over a 28 year period
showed that couples who were kind to each other were more likely to be happier. Small acts of kindness make us feel noticed and are a great way to build a health relationship.
Make sure you are spending time apart
This may not seem to make sense when trying to build your relationship but another secret to a healthy relationship is being able to spend time apart. It is important to have some separate interests and to see friends as individuals as well as a couple. This time also helps with point 1, when you are back together you are refreshed and ready to share your experiences!
says, “love is about being open, vulnerable and staying connected. We can't have one without the other. Want to know how to build and make your relationship grow and flourish? Sprinkle the love in every day.”
Another clever thing to do to build your relationship is have a lovely date night with the money you will save by switching to Energia
They are our top tips for building a great relationship. Let us know in the comments if you have anything else you would add?